Growing up I was thought to be absolutely brilliant. I exceled in school, landed a research apprenticeship at Roswell Park Cancer Institution and conducted award-winning research during high school, and everybody thought I’d go on in life to excel through college and become a famous psychiatrist/scientist. But when the bipolar hit me at age 17, I completely fell apart.
My first inpatient trip was at the beginning of my senior year of high school. After the hospital I was prescribed Seroquel. Because of it I could not wake up in the morning to save my life! And thus, I missed a LOT of school and was late even more. And naturally my grades slipped. I barely passed any of my classes, even failing one. I managed to disappoint my teachers and even more so, myself. My parents were very understanding, however. They were proud of me for doing the best that I could. (Mom, dad, you will never understand how much I appreciated that!)
Next up was college. Towards the end of my senior year I had been taken off of the Seroquel and put on Lithium-carbonate, Adderall, and Klonopin. By the time college rolled around I was pretty sure that I was stable, mood wise. I also had an old friend to go to school with. We were neighbors and had identical class schedules so we car-pooled and ended up attached at the hip. We were attending the University at Buffalo as Biomedical Sciences majors.
High school, aside from senior year, had been a breeze? So how hard could college be?
Turns out, college is very difficult. I was complacent and because of that my grades weren’t too hot. Because of this my anxiety and depression started to creep back up. And that only made my classes harder. Halfway through my second semester I ended up back in the hospital and made the decision to drop out.
Now, I am attending community college. I am taking a lot less classes and the classes I am taking are ridiculously easy. Though, I am really struggling with attendance. My mood is incredibly unstable and I am struggling to get out of bed in the morning. But I think that Round 2 of college will be much more successful for me. I will keep posting updates!
My bipolar and school aren’t the best of friends. But I didn’t post this to scare all of you bipolars away from college. I’m posting this with emphasis on me going to community college. I am making it work. So my dreams got a little screwed up, but I’m not totally giving up. In fact, I have a few bipolar friends whose bipolar isn’t interfering with their schooling. Some of them have 4.0 GPAs at top universities. School can be very difficult when you struggle with mental illness, but if it’s something that you’re dead set on doing, it’s absolutely not possible. Just keep a positive attitude and you’ll make it, J
Bipolar Pookie 